So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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