I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize