hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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