he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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