Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize