just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
