I hate your face
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
