I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
