The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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