Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Farmville is her only friend.
vagina is talking i cant
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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