I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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