New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
