Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
