i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
