Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
