We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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