I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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