Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
