cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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