Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
