If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
