Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
