Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
be right there i have to get my cape
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
