I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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