At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
