she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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