You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
