Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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