how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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