He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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