thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
They took my balls.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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