yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Found the puke drawer
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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