I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
