Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
