chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
