I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We are two peas in an std pod
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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