i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
