1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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