Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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