im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
