Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
