I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
