halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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