i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
