rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
