did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
