some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
