I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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