these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
