And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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