It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
