I just saw a hot homeless man
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
