I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize