ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
