i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
