everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
