Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
