Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
