I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
