remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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