I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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