I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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