you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
