Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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