It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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