just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize