Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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