At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
please come you make the beer taste better
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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