I cockslap morals
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
