it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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